My Aunt Maude

On Thursday, November 19, 2009 at 12:25 am, this world's loss was Heaven's gain. My Aunt Maude went home to be with Jesus.

I have been putting off writing this post because I don't know exactly what to say. How can you put into words how you feel about someone whose life has been so intertwined with your own; someone who has influenced you more than you ever realized, someone you shared a birthday party with every year for your entire life? I don't know if I can.

My Aunt Maude (I called her Aunt Maudie) was born September 4, 1918. She celebrated her 91st birthday this year. My due date was September 4, but I decided that I would prefer to make a late arrival on the 8th. We were born 63 years and 4 days apart, and from the time I was a little girl, she was my special buddy.

When my parents went out on a date, she was our go-to babysitter. We LOVED it when Aunt Maude stayed with us. She spoiled us rotten. She would sing to us, play with us, read to us, and when it was time to go to bed, she would scratch our backs and tickle our arms so we would settle down. There was never a doubt about how much she loved us, and she was always available when we needed her.

Our family birthday parties were one and the same every year. I've NEVER celebrated a birthday without her. Every time I think about my birthday next year, I break down and cry because I don't think I even want to acknowledge it if I can't celebrate her birthday too. You hear that family? I don't want a birthday party next year. It won't be the same without her.

See what I mean?

Our birthday celebration 2007 (September 2, 2007)

Our birthday celebration 2008


Two weeks before our birthdays in 2009. (This is the very last picture she ever let me take with her. She didn't feel well enough to come up to my Aunt Kay's house for our birthday party this year, and she refused to let me take a picture because she didn't think she looked good enough for one. :) Yep, that's my Aunt Maudie, always dressed to the 9's before she would be seen in public! After this picture was taken, I cried the entire ride home to Chattanooga. I kept telling Josh, "I'm just so afraid I'll never see her again. I want to go back!" I just had this awful feeling that she wouldn't be with us on this earth very much longer.)


Our very last birthday cookie, 2009. It just won't ever be the same if my name is the only one on there, ya know?


The week of September 20, she was hospitalized again because her CHF (congestive heart failure) was getting worse and she was being overloaded with fluid.

That weekend, I went to a Women's Conference in Virginia with my friend Jennifer. Talk about an emotional weekend! About 10 minutes before the conference started Friday night, my cousin called me to tell me what Aunt Maude's cardiologist said. Basically, at that point we learned her heart was only functioning at 10% (we had all sort of guessed at this, but for some reason when you actually hear it from a doctor, it makes it real and scary). He said she was living on borrowed time, but could hang on for years like that.

Couple that with awesome worship music and spiritual challenges that weekend, and I was an emotional train wreck by Sunday. I HAD to stop and see her in Maryville on my way back to Chattanooga, and Jennifer's husband was nice enough to fly up and get her at the Knoxville Airport so she didn't have to wait on me.

I am SO glad I stopped. That was the last real conversation I got to have with her. It was the last time she was mostly lucid when I visited, could understand what I was saying, and could respond to me. As soon as I walked in the room, she said, "Oh, Leslie! I was hoping you would come. You've been my girl for a long time!" Of course, that set me to crying all over again. I cried the whole time I was there, and when I got back in my car, I cried some more before driving home to Chattanooga. Before leaving the hospital, I wrote down everything I could remember that she said to me that day. I don't ever want to forget it.

I got the chance to tell her how much I love her, and I told her that I didn't know what I would do without her. This was her reponse: "Whatever happens, you'll be okay. You're strong. You can think about me every day and I'll be with you. You won't ever lose me."

I told her I was afraid I'd never see her again, and she said, "Leslie, none of us will make it off this earth alive. You'll come to meet me one day."

She wouldn't let me stay long because she knew I had to drive back to Chattanooga. I told her I would stay with her every second until she went to heaven if she wanted me too. She told me that I needed to think about Josh and take care of him. She kept insisting, "I want you to go home now. I don't want you driving late by yourself."

I told her she was stubborn (we have all always said how stubborn she was...she knows it's true!), and that she should let me stay if I wanted to stay. Her response?

"You're just like me. I'm sorry I put something like that on you." :) Then she made me leave so I could go home and take care of Josh and all my patients. She was selfless like that. Always was. I don't know that I have ever heard her say one selfish thing. I am so so sad to lose her on this earth, but my loss is Heaven's gain!

She's reunited with her husband, Dock (who passed away in 1967 from lung cancer), and all her friends and family that went before her. I was at her house last weekend with my Aunt Kay, and when I saw the couch where she always sat, my heart caught in my throat. Her heating pad was still laying there with all her pillows around it. Her home is so beautiful, I hate to think of anyone living there but her.

This Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for my Aunt Maudie. Unbelievably thankful that God allowed her to be such a big part of my life. I'm thankful this year that she's not hurting anymore, thankful that she taught me how to make homemade applesauce (and filled my freezer with it!), hominy, oatmeal cake and strawberry salad, thankful for how much she loved us all like we were her own kids, thankful that I've shared the last 28 birthdays with her, thankful she let me take her picture one last time. I hope one day that I can learn to be as selfless as her. I love you Aunt Maudie! I miss you so much! I can't wait to see you again someday in Heaven!