Change of Heart...

I love this time of year!!! For a long time (okay, until about a year ago) I hated the Christmas season. See, my mom died 11 days before Christmas in 1996, and after that things were never the same. Growing up, it was always a huge family affair to decorate the house, make candy, and go shopping for presents for everyone else (did the mall in anybody else's hometown have "Little World" where kids could shop for their parents for really cheap? anyway...) But, from the Christmas when I was 16 until 3 years ago, there was no decorating (save for the half-hearted tree) or candy, and the shopping stressed me out so much that it was no longer fun. Finally about 3 years ago, I convinced my dad to put up Christmas lights outside. They were gorgeous, and he has since made it a happy tradition once again. That same year, I convinced my dad to spend about $200 on supplies to make Christmas candy. I ate candy and Chex Mix until I was sick, but it was fabulous. ;) Those things made me like Christmas a little more. (And yes, my Dad now asks every year when I'm gonna make candy, because he wants to make sure he gets what he wants...and he deserves it, so I always make his request :). And you can call me sappy for this, but last year, Christmas finally felt like Christmas again. It was mine and Josh's first Christmas as a married couple, and once again, decorating the house (on a meager budget) was a family affair, and we had a blast! He surprised me by putting up the tree one day when I was gone (but we hung the ornaments together later that night)! My cousins helped me make candy (it's WAY more fun to make a chocolate mess with a 7 year old and a 4 year old!), and finally I felt at home for the holidays again. I finally am at peace with the fact that my mom will not be around for the holidays. But I am so excited to spend the holidays with the rest of my family, and I can't wait for Josh and I to start our own holiday traditions! (Don't jump the gun...we're still not having kids for a while!) To quote a song that made me cry sad tears for way too long, "And as we sing Joy to the World I can't help thinking of the joy that's shining in her eyes right now. And though our hearts still ache we know that as we celebrate SHE'S SINGING WITH THE HERALD ANGELS, AND HEAVEN'S GLOWING ON HER FACE! Now she's home for Christmas, and now she's home to stay. She's home for Christmas, and nothing could have kept her away! She'll be face to face with Jesus as we celebrate His birth. That gift will be worth more to her than anything on earth. She's home...She's home for Christmas!" (Steven Curtis Chapman-Home for Christmas) Now I only cry happy tears when I hear it (but I do still cry, every time.)

I am thankful for all of you, my friends! I would not be who I am today without all of you. Whether you know it or not, you have made a tremendous impact on my life...I hope I'll never again be the person I was before I knew you guys! Happy Thanksgiving (don't eat too much turkey!), and get ready to decorate for Christmas on Friday!!!! :) :) :) I'll post pictures of my house when I get finished...the budget is not so meager this year! :) (Okay, it won't be huge, but we did get the icicle lights for outside!)